Dear Woosy – I’m too ugly to have a girlfriend

Dear Woosy,

I really want to feel good about myself and to have a girlfriend but I’m too ugly and too boring.

I’m 34 and have never had a partner.

I look at my mates and they are definitely more attractive and more confident.

I don’t go out much but when I do I tend to go into pubs alone. I will often go into panic mode, worrying about what people are going to think about me, because I’m so horrible to look at. This normally ends up in me drinking too much and I have recently been diagnosed with a fatty liver.

Please help.

Woosy says – Once we start to feel down about ourselves, it’s easy to see only the negative bits.

Look at celebrities over the years, many of them are no oil paintings, the Elephant Man for example.

It’s their personality that counts.

Even if you’re shy, being a good listener and interested in other people, will get you a long way with the sort of girl who is likely to make a caring partner.

Could you learn to do something that would attract their attention? Magicians are never short of admirers.

Could you not learn a few tricks to take out to the pub with you. I guarantee that if, when you were ordering a drink, you suddenly clicked your fingers and appeared on the other side of the bar, people would become very interested indeed.

Think what clubs and interests you could check out which may attract women too.

When you meet new women try to be interested in them however dull they may be. Don’t worry about what they are thinking about you. Be confident. Wink if it’s appropriate to do so. Perhaps undo a few buttons on your shirt.(*). Remember the worst thing that could happen is that the lady runs out of the pub in terror and places a restraining order against you.

If you still seriously think you are so ugly, check with your GP, who can refer you for surgery if he thinks it is a real problem.

(*) A word of warning, under no circumstances undo a few buttons on your trousers unless you are 101% sure about the situation. Legal representation can be very expensive nowadays.

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