Dear Woosy – My boyfriend can’t keep it up

Dear Woosy,

I love my boyfriend very much but all is not well in the bedroom department as he is finding it increasingly difficult to maintain himself in an upright position during take-off and landing, so to speak. He says he feels his performance is constantly under scrutiny and that he is intimidated by my greater sexual experience. I have told him he has nothing to worry about and that, on his day, he is the equal of any of the blokes I shag at work. But still his problem persists. How can I put his mind at rest?

Woosy says – What a fragile soul your boyfriend is! But how typical of the male sex. I suppose you have tried all that size isn’t important guff, although we all know it is, especially if the damn thing refuses to stand to attention on command. Apart from that I am not sure what to say. You could stop shagging the blokes at work, but that seems a bit drastic seeing as they are currently the only ones who can get it up. If you are really determined to put his mind at rest then why not do what all us other girls do when faced with this kind of situation and just lie to him? He can carry on deluding himself that he’s king of the castle, while you’ll be getting it every which way. Perfect.

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