Dear Lily – Is he ‘The One’?

Dear Lily,

I was out with the girls having a few Bacardi Breezers the other night, and I ended up chatting to a tall handsome stranger at the bar. Twenty-four units of alcohol and a shish kebab later, and my favourite knickers were hanging jauntily from his bedroom lampshade. As I walked home the next morning I was convinced he was ‘the one’, but he must have lost my phone number as I haven’t heard from him since. Should I track him down and remind him of it?

Lily says – Didn’t your mummy and daddy tell you never to talk to strange men? No doubt this man tempted you back to his house with promises of sweeties and newborn puppies. I imagine you must have been very disappointed when you realised he’d been telling porky pies and simply wanted you to hand over your underpants. As a result of your naivety, you’ve broken one of the three commandments: Thou shalt not play with matches; Thou shalt not cross the road without looking both ways first; and Thou shalt not talk to strangers. As far as I am concerned you should count yourself lucky you haven’t been sent to bed with a smacked bottom and no supper.
Hope that helps!

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