Do something sexy

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere. Having seen enough Cletus rushes in and says, “What the heck are you doing, Billy Bob?” “Jeez, Cletus, ya scared … [Read the full story]

How can you recognise a female suicide bomber…

How can you recognise a female suicide bomber? If you see a woman with a short fuse, be very careful – call the police immediately.

Amnesiac walks into a bar…

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde girl and says, “Do I come here often?”

Two drums and a cymbal

Two drums and a cymbal fall over a cliff… …ba-dum, tsshh !  

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Why did the pervert cross the road?   Because he couldn’t get his cock out of the chicken  

I saw my mate Charlie this morning

I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.  I shouted “Where you off to Charlie?”  He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.” Well I just cracked up, couldn’t stop laughing, then said, “That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?” “Not really.” he said. “I still have the … [Read the full story]

I went to the cemetery yesterday…

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there, I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin. Three hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought to myself…they’ve lost the plot !  

My mate told his wife

My mate recently told his wife that she should start masturbating….she went fucking bananas!

Woman gets superglued to toilet seat

A woman had to be yanked off a public toilet seat after a prankster smothered it with extra strong superglue. The unfortunate incident occurred at a Home Depot store in Georgia, US, after the shopper went to use the bathroom. When she tried to get up after relieving herself she found she was unable to … [Read the full story]

Husband says to wife…

Husband says to wife, “My Olympic condoms have arrived … I think I’ll wear Gold tonight.” Wife says, “Why not wear Silver and come second for a change.”

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