Adam the Atheist – Lessons from the Bible

Hello again. My name is Adam, and I am an Atheist.

Ozzie News must have liked my first attempt at spreading the reason why the Bible is so utterly shit, pointless and…so utterly shit.

Before Byron, and before Casanova…there was David. Young and in love, David desperately wants to marry Saul’s daughter Michal and offers Saul anything he wants to let him marry her.

What could Saul possibly want? Money? A vow of love?

No.

Saul wants foreskins…one hundred to be exact.

David killed men and cut their foreskins, all for love

Why? Who cares. If you want my daughter, you’re going to have to find one hundred foreskins by tomorrow. David finds this odd, but then again this girl is hot, so he goes out and kills 200 men, and collects their foreskins. It’s only then he remembers that he only needs 100 foreskins. Oh well, maybe if he hands over twice as many foreskins, Saul will be doubly as impressed.

Indeed Saul is, and duly hands over his daughter to David.

The moral of this story: Never be ashamed to do crazy things for love…oh yeah…and don’t believe anything that’s written in The Bible.

by Adam the Atheist

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Comments

One Response to “Adam the Atheist – Lessons from the Bible”
  1. Wee-Zer says:

    The Bible seems to blame everything on booze, a strategy you’ll recognize from work the morning after karaoke night. The booze in this case is wine, which raises the question: how much wine do you have to drink before you became oblivious to the fact that you were having sex with your daughter … a second time?

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