Some of the most pretentious albums ever

What makes a pretentious album?

A groan-inducing concept, lots of highfalutin waffle, and a ridiculous cover. If you’re lucky you get all three at once.

Here are some of the worst offenders.

10. Pete Townshend  – ‘Psychoderelict’
A misunderstood 60′s rock star gets harassed by a music critic. Featuring more psychobabble than an Alanis Morrissette album and distinctly lacking in good riffs. Not as good as ‘Tommy’ then. Most Pretentious Moment: We’re sure the song ‘Let’s Get Pretentious’ is supposed to be post-modern, but just ends up sounding…pretentious.
9. The Smashing Pumpkins – ‘Machina / The Machines Of God’
Billy Corgan’s not a man who is known for his charm or subtlety, but will let him off because he made classics like ‘Gish’ and ‘Siamese Dream’. Not so much on ‘Machina’, whose ‘concept’ was The Pumpkins playing exaggerated versions of themselves and Corgan hearing the voice of god. A lot. Unhelpfully they forgot to write any tunes to back this concept up. Most Pretentious Moment: ‘The Imploding Voice’. ‘God’ speaks. Unfortunately he sounds like someone making a terrible racket.
8. Transvision Vamp – ‘Little Magnets Versus The Bubble Of Babble’
Whilst their previous album ‘Velveteen’ hit Number One, this album, which leaned heavy on the “mood pieces” and panting, failed to chart. Most Pretentious Moment: “Won’t you be my twangy wig out?” Wendy James sings on, er, ‘Twangy Wig Out’. Um, no thanks!
7. KISS – ‘Music From ‘The Elder’’
Not only did they drop the heavy rock (but kept the make up), KISS went for a comic book like concept for their next album, about a boy who is ready to fight evil and become a superhero. Unsurprisingly it didn’t sell as well as previous KISS albums. Most Pretentious Moment: ‘I’ was a ridiculous pomp rock enterprise but in retrospect the video was pretty funny.
6. Mansun – ‘Six’
Could any other band pay tribute to both L. Ron Hubbard and Winnie The Pooh? Mansun disappeared up their Britpop back alley with this ludicrous album. Listening to it felt like doing a dissertation. Most Pretentious Moment: ‘Witness To A Murder (Part Two)’. An opera singer belts out one over a harpsichord melody.
5. The Passengers – ‘Original Soundtracks (Volume 1)’
Who needs a pesky film to base a soundtrack around, when you can get all the more ponderous and navel gazing without one? Instrumentals, singing bassists and Pavarotti all played their roles in this overblown mess. Most Pretentious Moment: ‘Miss Sarajevo’ with Pavs. Eye wateringly embarrassing for all concerned.
4. Lou Reed – ‘Metal Machine Music’
A bit of musical self annihilation and Lou killed off his glam persona with these four sides of hissing feedback. Most Pretentious Moment: The fourth side of the original LP had a locked groove so you could listen to it…forever!
3. Lou Reed and Metallica – ‘Lulu’
The collaboration no-one wanted. Lou’s high art, spoken word-isms failed to mesh with Metallica’s run on grooves. The result made both parties look, well, a bit like they needed to get out a bit more. Most Pretentious Moment: The doom-laden closer ‘Junior Dad’. Listeners, fun time is officially over.
2. Terence Trent D’Arby – ‘Neither Fish Nor Flesh’
Another artist who insisted on annihilating his previous incarnation. The follow up to the hugely successful ‘The Hardline According To…’ album involved a large dose of over-indulgent funk and self indulgent musings. Most Pretentious Moment:The fact that it was so pretentious he had to change his name after it was released.
1. Lady Gaga – ‘Born This Way’
For a while Gaga was the most exciting pop star on the planet. Then on ‘Born This Way’ she seemed to believe in her own hype, convinced that she had a message to share. Cue an album of unwieldy ‘anthems’ that couldn’t mask the fact the fun had left the building. Most Pretentious Moment: The German sung ‘ScheiBe’. Did electroclash die for this?
by Wallace McTavish
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Comments

7 Responses to “Some of the most pretentious albums ever”
  1. D R Y B A B Y says:

    WENDY JAMES (Transvision Vamp) in 2012…

    Have a look at the dates of the blog entries below and see for yourself.

    (oh and contrast these TRUE pictures with the bullshit she feeds the more gullible officially..and no NONE of the coke photos have even been shown by Wendy herself and you can clearly see why..)

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/03/is-wendy-james-your-hero-now-paula-joye.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/02/wendy-james-is-off-her-tits.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2010/05/broken-english.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/08/f-c-e-t-i-m-e.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/06/whats-new-pussycat.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2010/01/wendy-james-and-drugsdrugsdrugsdrugs.html

    http://www.dailymotion.com/oscare#videoId=x2x8ev

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/10/more-wendy-james-than-wendy-james.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/10/skinny-junkies.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/09/wendy-james-dreads-drybaby-opening-his.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/09/t-u-r-n-c-o-t.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/09/wendy-james-is-bladder.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/09/people-who-live-in-glass-houses.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/06/attachments.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/11/wendy-james-gives-good-head.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/11/feed-your-head.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/10/will-wendy-james-play-live-in-front.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/08/message-to-you-wendy.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/

    http://www.dailymotion.com/oscare#videoId=x2x8ev

    http://drybaby2.wordpress.com/

    The Queen Of Cocaine nowdays.

    She still smokes of course and that’s fine..

    But she has a chronic coke problem too.

    (Thus no Australian visa on the horizon ever…no Aussie tour but she regularly bullshits she will “soon”…that soon has been going on since 2004….Aussie agents won’t handle her because she would be lucky to sell 70 tickets anywhere in Oz..and might well “do a Whitney” during any tour across the country..)

    As you can see.

    See ya

    D R Y B A B Y

    • AndyD says:

      Wow!
      So many people here reading the Drybaby fallacies ur umm prophecies.

      What will happen next to Trollbaby’s exciting life??????

      To find out just Google ‘Drybaby sad touch typist troll’ follow the Amazon links and read the reviews to the fantastic Wendy James cd ‘I came here to blow minds’.

      If you have the slightest notion to find out more about the sad lifestory of Drybaby, why Wendy sacked him and what a loser he his then read some or more of the numerous public comments about him.

      A sad, sad case, but very funny too!

  2. D R Y B A B Y says:

    Hi there “AndyD”…

    Easter Sunday @ 5.17 am..!!!

    (Easter Sunday here of course but Easter Monday in The Jolly Old Land Of Oz…)

    Aussie music boards are full of the coolest people.

    http://www.messandnoise.com/people/236193

    And still peddling that “Wendy sacked him” urban legend..?

    (Oh dear it just occurred to me that maybe just maybe Miss James herself might be one spreading that urban legend..which is fine by me..did you hear that from Jimmy Traill in Newtown..? )

    Oh and you will notice that my comment and their links are still FULLY VISIBLE above you.

    In nice colorful eye-catching red..

    Oh and thanks for the new TAG..

    TrollBaby

    (very nice ring to it indeed…I promise I will use it…keep checking all my sites as you love to do..You are truly part of the Internet Backbone..you should set up a web 0.2 website…and stop drooling on your twitter client…!!!)

    So anyway..Must dash…Easter Dinner and all..

    So anyhoo mucho thanks for the all the free publicity..

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/04/wendy-james-vomit-inquiry.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/03/lady-litten-ha-ha.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2008/05/year-racine-wasnt-really-wendy-james.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/06/wendy-jamesthe-last-revolution-baby.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/03/is-wendy-james-your-hero-now-paula-joye.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2012/04/you-couldnt-winksqueeze-your-tits.html

    http://drybaby1.blogspot.com/2011/11/man-who-was-wendy-james.html

    http://drybaby2.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/munrose-56/

    Oh and honestly truly from me to you..

    Thanks for keeping DRYBABY alive on the internet no matter what context.

    It’s all very welcome.

    (Frankly I almost rely on you to give me a leg up on comment sections nowadays..)

    And yeah AndyD is right everyone should go onto Google and type

    wendy james cocaine

    (it’s like a Da Vinci code which will give you a whole new set of IMAGES you’ve never seen before..)

    Oh listen to me…concentrating on myself and not asking how you are doin’ old buddy..

    How is the Amazon experience these days..?

    Like Groundhog Day is it..?

    For me..It’s a New World…it’s a New Day…it’s a Newtown..And I’m Feeling Good..

    Wink.

    See ya.

    D R Y B A B Y

    • AndyD says:

      So ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,No Reply to a Reply!

      Tongue got your cat? Run out of things to say? Confused like Homer? Seen Wendy recently?

      No ?……………Thought not!

      Not likely to either!

      Well …………. not if we/she see you first!

      Give it up DryCob!

      Go down the pub and have an orange juice, chat to a few people, make friends, have fun, play roulette, have fun, go for a walk in Phoenix……. when is the last time you did that?

      Reflect on all this in a quiet moment.

      You know it makes sense ………. don’tcha! anyhoo! wink!

    • AndyD says:

      Hiya Drycob

      Took a look at your blog the other day, just to see if you had any worthwhile news on Wendy.
      Not a Drybaby blog to be found anywhere! All banned and removed!
      Did you give up at last?

      Wendy seems to be doing real good now with new material and famous musicians to work with. Great Tumblr site as well, far better pics than you ever had of the real world (2012).

      Ah well have a good Chrissy and the longer you stay quiet the better.

      Best Wishes from Melbourne ….. I am on Holiday !

      Andy

  3. AndyD says:

    Hiya DryCob,

    Such a thoughtful and considered response …. guess I should be flattered!

    So …… you’re still grinching along after all this time!!

    So many guys having a laugh at you now, it’s become like regular entertainment and funnier than the SImpsons but even more bizarre.

    Do you see yourself as a sort of Homer of the internet? You know …. kinda hopeless but in a real laughable way!

    Well gotta go now. Time and Tide and all that ….. wait for no man and certainly not for the likes of you!

    As someone on the ZON said ‘please go and enjoy your pig sex and travel’.

  4. Andydepressant says:

    Missing Alex???

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