Poms who get bored with Australia can fuck off

For decades, the promise of sunny weather, a family-friendly lifestyle and affordable property has driven hundreds of thousands of Britons to make the move to Australia.   

But it seems, for many, their dream life Down Under has turned into something of a disappointment for the moaning nation.

A record number of Britons left  Australia last year, many bored with  their ex-pat life and keen to spend  more time with family in the UK, research has revealed.

Nearly 107,000 people arrived there from the UK between 2005 and 2010. 

But more than 30,000 Britons left over the same period. And last year a record of more than 7,000 Britons departed Australia permanently.

Researchers Mary Holmes, a senior lecturer in sociology at Australia’s Flinders University, and Roger Burrows, of the University of York, studied why so many ‘ping-pong Poms’ are returning home.

They said: ‘A better life is not about good jobs, sunshine or bigger houses. What is most important is  feeling close to family and feeling “at home”.’

The researchers added that ‘pursuing this dream life can result in disappointment’.

A number of returning Britons left because of ‘boredom’ in Australia, the pair found, complaining of stressful daily routines such as three-hour commutes on hot, crowded trains…which is ridiculous. Pommieland is much more stressful and the trains are always more crowded…fucking whingers.

Dr Holmes and Professor Burrows said that while some who left could be described as ‘whingeing Poms’, complaining about the heat and insects, most had better reasons, with family being a common one. Many wanted their children born in Australia to get to know grandparents and other relatives in the UK, even if it meant sacrificing a better quality of life.

And for others, not ‘feeling at home’ in Australia was a crucial factor in their decision to leave, the research showed.

One Briton who had left Australia said: ‘Coming back has been a bit like slipping into an old pair of shoes.’   

Another told the researchers that since returning to her old home town she had ‘come alive again’ despite having to move into a smaller house, drive a smaller car and having less money.   

She said: ‘I love walking everywhere, wrapping up warm, politeness, greenery, quality TV.’

POLITENESS ??!!?##!? …Poms in the UK are probably as rude as it gets. Australians are always ready to help, and a much better core of character. And what the fuck is she talking about when it comes to quality TV? Admittedly, terrestrial TV here can be kinda shit…but the next time you look at a Poms newspaper…have a look at the shit TV. They seem to be trying to break records all the time as to how many times they can schedule Neighbours in one day…and that’s one of their better programmes.

However the researchers did note  that some who returned kept their options open by obtaining Australian citizenship before doing so.

One Briton told them: ‘That way, when your duty to your children and grandparents is finally done you are free to go back to make your home in Australia.’

by John Jackson

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Comments

19 Responses to “Poms who get bored with Australia can fuck off”
  1. Jim says:

    Bollocks! I moved to England 2 years ago and I’m never going home, nowhere in Oz rocks like London

  2. Pusskins Rocks says:

    Belive me, we’re not all whingers. We are coming over in 2012 and to be honest I can’t wait to get over to OZ !! It’s also good to know that your cricket team is especially SHIT at the mo, so for me its definately a Win Win

  3. Not a Pom fan says:

    I moved to the UK to be only disappointed by poor housing conditions, corruption, extremely poor service and quality of food to Australia. I came back to Australia feeling more in love with it and thinking why I chose such a country to live in. What annoys me the most is the UK citizens can just come over and get work in any field, but us Aussies have to either have an EU or a UK passport/ ancestry to get any decent jobs there- Call that double standards. Honestly, we should close our doors to poms or make all employers hire Australians first. We should look after our own people as oppose to other nations who have bad economies

  4. Genitals says:

    Listen here, Not a Pom Fan. The trouble with Aussies is that they are generally lazy. Which is why Poms do well over here.
    The housing IS poor in the UK, but I find you Aussies whinge more than us lot. And actually, we Poms can’t “just come over and get a job in any field”. It takes time and we are prepared to work….unlike the, as I said before, lazy Aussie.
    Also, we are very adaptable, which is why we ARE good in any bloody field. I’m sure the government would look after you more, if you weren’t so fucking lazy.
    You mainly exist because of us, so get used to us. I suppose you would prefer to have loads of boat refugees over here, and I’m sure you love your tax to go towards the refugees, who get looked after a hell of a lot more than anyone else. Yeah, you’d much prefer that, or would you want honest hard-working Poms that contribute to this wonderful country? Come on mate, it’s a no brainer.
    So don’t start cunting us off mate, and stop fucking whinging. You went to the UK, you hated it, so what. The people of the UK probably fucking hated you.
    And don’t start with the food and service. The food in restaurants and service is far superior to Australia’s food industry. I’ve been to many restaurants over here and, even in supposedly “up-market” restaurants, meals are brought out at different times than the people I’m eating with, the meal will come out before the drinks do……. absolute rubbish. But, I would never moan about it, because that’s how Australia is, and I can’t expect it to be up to the good standard that I’ve been used to.
    But you are right on one thing. This is a wonderful, wonderful country.
    The only problem, is that you live in it.

    • Linda says:

      What about the SALARY standard? Is it not lower in GREAT BRITAIN ? Sure! That’s why you are here for a better standard of life 😉

  5. Bruce says:

    I second everything Genitals said.

  6. Pomme-ain says:

    And this article typifies the issue. It is 100% whingeing, but written by an Aussie about the apparently whingeing pommes. Just in case you don’t get it, and I appreciate that educational standards appear to be lower in Oz, you are a pot calling a kettle black. Or wog as you say in your backwards 1970s style racist attitudes, Its pathetic. Most of the rest of the civilised world has moved on and the aussies are still as racist, sexist and homophobic as they come.

    I’m not sure how you work out that housing is lower standard in the UK either. Its just not the case. My experience in Oz is shabby disposable houses, with thin walls, tin roofs and infestations of just about anything you can think of. People in famine stricken parts of Africa live amongst bugs, in the civilised world people deal with them.

    As for the food, of course it varies everywhere, but it is a well established FACT that aussie food is generally bland.

    So, like pretty much everything else in Oz – the talk is big, the promise is huge, the reality is generally disappointing. Aussie cars, aussie beer, you name it. Aussies believe it to be the best in the world even though its blatantly obvious that it is expensive, but cheap, crap.

    I hate the place and can’t wait to get back to blighty.

    • George says:

      Pomme-ain

      Thankyou, all points covered, I need not add any further comment.

      I trust that you are yourself British, due to your ability to put your point across without the need for foul language, also a sense of humour clearly evident.

      Enjoy Blighty !

  7. stevyn says:

    Just read your article and the responces, If anyone is a whinger its the author of the article plus the use of the esplicatives is not needed.

    I have been here a year so far and still unable to find a job mainly because of my age (58) and skill set (your aircraft industry either goes bust or moves their maintenance operations overseas) because I am not an Australia citizen I cant work in the defence industry like I did in the UK with full NATO clearance.

    My visa allows me to work but doesnt allow me to get any benefits and I accepted that when I set off from the UK, I cannot see an Aussie in the UK not using the benefit system to their advantage also the health system there.

    Your Housing oh yes well I am still coming to grips with no walls just a plasterboard wall and tin roofs but I accept it as its your way even though a proper brick wall now and again would be nice or even I hesitate to say double glazing (it helps keep the heat out in the summer and in during the winter).

    The one thing I REALLY dislike is being called a POM as its always said in a derisory way as if we were the cause of all your ills, I actually think its quite racist to be called a POM, but as soon as you say anything your’re called a whinging POM.

  8. Screw the English and other foreigners says:

    I lived in the UK where I must say I felt like I went back in time as they are so backwards in terms of health, education to name a few. They also only employ UK citizens followed by EU citizens with all others last. Here is the kisser, if you are an Australian, with ancestral ties to the UK or EU then you are more likely to get a job. So why don’t our Australian governments do the same here? All jobs should be to Australian first and all other last. We should look after our own before foreigners who pretty much bring their dodgy work practices, morals into this country. The freeze on inflation for the UK citizens coming here with their pension should also be stopped as that is the Australian tax payers money and should be used for citizens of this country. Another factor to think of. Australian education has been sort after for decades and now with universities opening doors to foreign countries such as India, Sth America countries, Canada, French, japan, Asian countries and a whole of others, we are lowering our education standards so these dumb arses from these countries can pass the subjects and in term get more foreign students to study at Australian tertiary institutions so they can make higher profits. We should have a closer look of our borders and guard of foreign migration, business so we as a nation can grow to be a pillar of the world as we so can. I know of 3 foreigners who arrived here just to work cash in hand and went reported to the ATO and migration agencies, they could not do much.

  9. kal says:

    The problem with the poms is that they have fucked there own country, I was staying in a hotel a few months ago in the west end and the whole place was run by Romanians,you opened the flood gates to the eastern Europeans and now your crying about it, I am am a kiwi and a proud one at that,not afraid to get my hands dirty,that is why you will not last if you try to get work down-under,I have never known a race of people to moan and complain as much, I’m hoping Australia realize how fuken useless you pricks are and limits your numbers.

  10. Stigma says:

    Everyone who has posted so far has such generalised, one eyed views on both Australians and the Brits. The title of the article stated that “Poms who get bored with Australia can fuck off”.. Well they did get bored, and they did fuck off. Some who liked it here stayed, the ones who didn’t, didn’t. Tough titties. I’ve lived in several locations around Australia for the first 15 years of my life, London for the next 5 and have returned to Melbourne for the last 5 years.

    In both countries I have found that generally the ‘quality’ of people is very similar. Both have the cultural scum that seem to taint the kind human nature that is found in any country. But to condemn an entire country of people because of that minority is just plain, fucking stupid.

    As for the “lazy Australians” remark, I’m not sure where you’ve been working but generally I’ve noticed an equal level of effort (if not more) at every job I’ve worked with Australians compared with Londoners (whether it be factories, mines or supermarket work).

    I’m not at all a fan of this hatred that has somehow brewed between both nations. Bring it back to the days of banter about cricket and who has the best tasting beer ’cause this is just fucking ridiculous.

  11. patrick moller says:

    One problem i have always had with brits is there overblown superiority complex. Yeah they nice personally but once you bring up politics and history they turn into the snobbiest bunch of two faced arrogant pricks you could ever meet. They honestly believe that ALL european australians are just shitty filth to them….cattle to the slaughter….bugs under their shoes. I am a GERMAN australian not a british australian(or a dirty convict as you like to call us) and the next time some pommy calls me a “shitty convict” his head will go through a wall repeatedly

  12. Chuckles says:

    I find this whole thread so funny. I am a Aussie married to a Brit moving to the UK next month for good. I love the picture in this article with the comment “what a miserable country”. I seem to remember THIS country, not so long ago, the east coast under water and the west coast on fire. The long and the short of it is that the UK is a better more vibrant place to live. I can’t wait to leave.

  13. Mosh says:

    How many aussies does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 but it takes 2 attempts

    How many aussies does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 but “3rd time lucky”

    How do you know aussies don’t have a sense of humor?
    They can’t see the humor in jokes about themselves!

  14. Aussie Fucktard says:

    Australians are toothless, imbred, fat-ass, ugly pink gorillas who have the IQ of a retarded chimp on meth. Swear to god, Australian girls have the nastiest smelling snatches in the world. Plus, most of them weigh about the same as humpback whale and smell like one that’s been rotting in the desert for about 50 days in the hot sun. I think the reason why Australian fuckheads talk like they are always chewing a pitbull’s balls is because of all the drugs and chemical they stuff up their noses and assholes. No surprise that they all liek to fuck their daughters and sisters because all those drugs and booze fuck up their 2 dollar brains to the point where they think sucking their boyfriend’s cock is a way of imbibing minerals. Typical Aussie cock-sucking, shit-eating, motherfucking cunt-bag ball-sack eating pieces of feline catshit…ugliest apes to ever walk the planet.

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