Forget viagra…shove a pencil in your penis

So, you’ve met a hot chick, and let’s face it, she’s been looking at you all night. You’ve had a bit to drink, but you’re looking good. I mean, it’s not as if she’s going to want you to recite quotes from Romeo and Juliet, is she…but…you have had rather a lot to drink…some may say…too much. BUT, it’s ok because you’ve got just the answer if you “can’t get it up” when she comes back to your place…that’s right…..shove a pencil in your penis!

Last week, Zeljko Tupic, from Serbia, came up with a rather drastic solution to his problem but ended up needing emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past. So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

But things didn’t quite go to plan and Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call for an ambulance.

But on a serious not, just think how desperate Tupic must have been to do this, I mean the guy needs some help…poor thing.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade’s Zvezdara hospital, who successfully removed the pencil, said: “At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

Tupic, or Pencil Dick as he is now known, told reporters that he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils.

“I’ve never been much of a lover”, Mr Dick admitted to our staff. “It all stems from a loss of confidence that I suffered after my first sexual encounter. ”

“She told me I was the worst lover she had ever had”, a tearful Tupic recalled. “But she wasn’t being fair. After all, how could she make a judgment like that after only three seconds?”

by Sasha Dubronitz

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