Tony’s Quiet Time
A very good evening to you all.
I’ve jacked my job in at the warehouse…there are way too many dickheads that work there. It’s not the working level…they’re all me mates. It’s the management, and project management that I can’t take any more. The warehouse politics are getting me down, so I left.
I now work at a pizza shop.
I make pizza’s all day and sometimes at night I go out delivering them.
I was making pizza one night and this woman came in and ordered a pizza at the shop. I said that I would personally make it for her.
Well, she just fluttered her eye-lids at me and left an address for it to be delivered to in about 1/2 an hour. I was finishing around that sort of time, so it would be ideal for me to deliver the pizza to this chick, and then I could be on my way home.
I took the pizza to her house. It was a posh looking house and she opened the door, and invited me in.
She immediately started taking her clothes off, and so I started to take off mine. And there she stood, looking better than a $10 whore.
And there I was…in me birthday suit.
Almost straight away she went down on me…which was a big mistake on her part.
You see, I’d been working all day and all night and all day and all night etc., for a few nights and I’d gotten pissed and hadn’t really washed or showered.
And to be honest, the old fella wasn’t smelling too good.
Well, she came up for air, paused…and then it happened. She was sick all down my leg, ball-bag, the lot. The smell, and probably taste, had made her sick.
She went mad and said that she wouldn’t pay me for the pizza. So I grabbed it and got some of my clothes, made for the front door, got into my car and drove home.
The first thing I did when I got in was have a shower. Then I put my feet up and opened a Cabernet Savignon from a vintage year. I was quite comfortable sitting there in my dressing gown watching Spicks and Specks. I thought about eating the ‘unpaid’ pizza, but I started to play with my clean ball-bag, pulled out my throbbing tool, and RUINED that pizza…I ruined the shit out of it so much that I couldn’t even tell if there was anchovies on it or not!
Have a wonderful, wonderful evening.