Anecdotal thoughts of Jim Aborwhear

I do wish people would take the effort to lie to me in a well constructed, factually difficult to disprove manner, I really do get annoyed when the effort is not made to construct a solid, plausible fabrication, it shows a terrible lack of respect.

I always tell the truth (but of course that could be a lie), on occasion I may “bend” the factuality of a situation by a unique interpretation conceived in such a manner as to only be believed in it’s entirety by myself alone in the cosmos of creation. More commonly I may guide someone away from those unfortunate, petty and unimportant facts (those that I wish to remain uncovered) by convincing them to concentrate on the shimmering, glinting, golden light of the fact that I do wish them to see. But I never lie outright …………………. it’s too damn risky.

However, when delivering such missives which are Position variable instructions (from where I’m standing I’m telling you to do it), I think the occasional flourish, Corinthian embellishment or decorational dissemblement is perfectly acceptable.

I recall going to a meeting some years ago (meeting passive resistance from people who were against a change that meant their performance would be judged on how much work they actually did rather than how many cases they took, (I know…CRAZY ). I said to one of the other managers, “Quick give me a guesstimate of the percentage of imbalance in the current system, something I can throw out that sounds impressive”, he paused before replying “Oh I don’t know, say 28%”.

I still remember at the meeting looking out at the sea of sullen faces and stating with complete sincerity and conviction “Look the current system has been statistically analysed and has an imbalance of 28%!! I don’t just pull these figures out of the air you know”.

I have to say the effect was rather ruined by said colleague choking on his coke and not doing a good job of stifling his laughter.

by Jim Aborwhear

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