Was struck by an awful “bug” last night, felt so rough I didn’t even want any alcohol, that is a first!
Zomboid like today which is rather irritating but back to work tomorrow, where it will not matter as I will blend in. You know it’s at times like the above, on a cold dark evening when I’m feeling unwell, that I consider the fact that I live on my own and think, thank Heavens for that!, no one to irritate me.
Despite being a lifelong singleton I certainly sensed the warning signs sooner than my next door neighbour did today. Having my regular 11am movement, my neighbour was cleaning his windows and I heard his wife say to him.
Mrs X: Are you coming inside now?
Mr X: Yes
Mrs X: But there are streaks all over the window!
Mr X: I can’t see any from where I’m standing
Mrs X: Well there are, I don’t know why you said you’d do it if you’re not going to do it properly.
Mr X: All right calm down (never a good idea to say “calm down” in these situations in my opinion) I’ll do it again, you asked me to do it today and you know I don’t feel well anyway what are you doing apart from watching me?
Mrs X: Paused, (you know one of those terrible silent pauses that are filled with a terrible foreboding of what is shortly going to happen).
Mrs X: Excuse me, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me? (I cannot give justice to how scary those two words actually sounded, a clear warning in my opinion for the chap to apologise profusely).
Mrs X: What am I doing, WHAT AM I DOING? There followed an exhaustive list of everything Mrs X had done since they moved in 9 months ago (including painting the rather sweet flower pots in the front garden), ending in “I suppose you think you’re a big man because you were out with your mates last night and I couldn’t go?”
Mr X: That was the first time I’ve been out in 6 months without you, it was men only there were no other wives there and you called me 12 times
Mrs X: But you didn’t pick up after the first 2!
Mr X: I can’t see any from where I’m standing
Mrs X: Well there are, I don’t know why you said you’d do it if you’re not going to do it properly.
Mr X: All right calm down (never a good idea to say “calm down” in these situations in my opinion) I’ll do it again, you asked me to do it today and you know I don’t feel well anyway what are you doing apart from watching me?
Mrs X: Paused, (you know one of those terrible silent pauses that are filled with a terrible foreboding of what is shortly going to happen).
Mrs X: Excuse me, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me? (I cannot give justice to how scary those two words actually sounded, a clear warning in my opinion for the chap to apologise profusely).
Mrs X: What am I doing, WHAT AM I DOING? There followed an exhaustive list of everything Mrs X had done since they moved in 9 months ago (including painting the rather sweet flower pots in the front garden), ending in “I suppose you think you’re a big man because you were out with your mates last night and I couldn’t go?”
Mr X: That was the first time I’ve been out in 6 months without you, it was men only there were no other wives there and you called me 12 times
Mrs X: But you didn’t pick up after the first 2!
by Jim Aborwhear
