Tony’s Quiet Time

Hello to one and all.

It’s been a while since I put pen to paper regarding my memoirs. But it really has been a busy time with Christmas and the New Year.

It’s been a strange last few months for me. Chucking in my job at the warehouse, starting at the pizza delivery place and getting sacked.

I’ve tried to be a good person and…by and large, I have been. But my luck with women has been very ordinary…actually, it’s not even been ordinary…more like non-existent. I’ve been so close and then it all goes wrong, so I end up ruining something of mine at home whilst wearing my gimp mask and rubber suit.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over the Christmas break and thought that I might have to go to some sort of help group…you know, a sort of group council, maybe just to get things off my chest. I mean, they say a problem shared is a problem halved. There’s nothing to lose and I’m not working at the moment, so I thought I’d give it a go.

I saw this ad in the local paper and it read, ‘HIG-FUP – WE HELP EVEN THE UN-HELPABLE’.

That’s the one for me, I thought. But I before I go, I must find out what HIG-FUP means. I looked it up, and it stands for, Help Is Good for Fucked Up People. Incredible…I’m a bit low, but I don’t think I’m fucked up. Still, it’s a gold coin donation and I’m not too flush at the moment, so…off I go.

The councilor’s name is Vanessa. She wore glasses and her long red hair was tied up. She had a black medium length skirt on and black stiletto’s.

The session started with all of us saying a bit about ourselves.

There was a group of five ‘fucked-up’ people, and that included me. There was Doris who, I think is just lonely and likes the company once a week. Bert who is incredibly obese and can just fit through the front door. Angela who is addicted to sex and Joan who, apparently has an addictive personality.

Angela the sex addict looked like a prostitute…but a high class one. I think that Bert and Doris paid her for sex every now and then. I don’t have proof of this, it was just a feeling. When you watch people’s body language, sometimes things are just obvious. There’s nothing wrong in what they’re all doing…as long as they’re happy. It probably helps them all with their little problems that they all have. I mean, it’s way hard to cure a sex addict, the obese man looses a few kilos and regain a bit of self esteem and the lonely one isn’t lonely for the time that they spend together. In fact, I don’t think Doris cares much for the sex…it’s just that she’s terribly lonely.

Joan seems an interesting person. I’m new to the group and she seems to be taking a bit of interest in me…purely because I am new, and of course…her addictive personality. She’s about forty and is in good shape. She looks like she might have been some sort of athlete a few years back. Really slim and tight…solid, sinewy.

Vanessa let us all talk, and then we all got into discussions about how much other people don’t understand us. I suppose it was Vanessa’s job for us to stop blaming everyone else and take a good look at ourselves and what sort of life we’re leading. She can’t tell us, we have to find out for ourselves and she is the vehicle to get us to discover ourselves. We might come out of it liking who we are…we may want to change. Who know’s, but is sure was good talking about stuff, even with this motley crew.

The session finished. Angela, Bert and Doris disappeared. This left myself, Vanessa and Joan. I asked them if they wanted to go for a quick drink before we went home. There’s a nice pub around the corner and Vanessa didn’t seem to think there’s be any harm in a quick drink, so I went with my two new friends.

We had more than one drink, and we were all laughing, maybe a little bit of flirting was going on, but we were all in a good place. I asked them if they wanted to come back to my place…and they agreed. There was nothing sexual in my mind, just good friendship.

At my house, I went to get them both a drink. I came back and Vanessa and Joan were making out on my sofa. It was quite sweet really. It was more than heavy petting, so I tried to creep out of the room to leave them in peace when Vanessa ordered me to take my clothes off and make my way over to the sofa. I did as she said. Vanessa said that if I was a good boy, she’d let me wear my gimp mask and rubber suit next week. I thought that this was a bit weird but it must be therapy.

I came over and both Joan and Vanessa sucked on me like hungry puppies. There was a real contrast between the voluptuous Vanessa and athletic looking Joan.

We all had wonderful sex. I waited for the moment when I usually throw up, or shit myself…but this didn’t happen. How wonderful. We all exchanged bodily fluids and we all climaxed several times (the woman came more than me) but I’d had the best sexual experience in years.

After our threesome we all slept together on my bed and even had a little cuddle before we all fell asleep.

I the morning, I was woken by shouting and a big commotion. I looked around and Vanessa and Joan were shouting at me and tying me to the bed with my face down. There was a terrible smell…I’d shit the bed. Not only had I shit the bed, but it seemed that I’d shit like a hippopotamus, you know, with a helicopter up my arse. It was everywhere.

Usually when things go wrong for me I ruin something in my house…but this time the tables were turned.

Vanessa went straight to my fridge, pulled out a massive cucumber and then they both ruined my arse…and really RUINED me. Not content with ruining my arse, that anorexic bitch squatted over my head and shit on me…literally.

Not forgetting that cunt councilor, she continually rammed me with that cucumber while pissing on me, too. I didn’t mind the pissing bit…it sort of helped me get through the whole ordeal.

Well, it seems things don’t change too much in my life.

But do have a wonderful, wonderful evening. It’s been an absolute pleasure talking to you.

by Tony

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