Mark Webber will probably hang himself

MARK WEBBER launched into an X-rated rant at the Singapore Grand Prix.

The Aussie turned the air blue after being asked how he was coping with being beaten by Red Bull team-mate Sebastian Vettel.

Webber, 35, snarled: “Probably I’ll hang myself”, before muttering: “Fucking wanker.”

The furious driver, yet to win a race this year while Vettel has bagged eight, quickly apologised to the French journalist.

Webber will start from second in todays race.

by Heath Thornton

 

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3 Responses to “Mark Webber will probably hang himself”
  1. Jake says:

    The reason Webber cannot beat Vettel has been highlighted by German aerodynamics expert, Wilfried Von Strudlepants. He says, “Yah, Mark has ze problem viz da understeer und oversteer. Dis usually happens vehn Mark turns his head as den de large cleft in his chin acts as a sail directing ze car vhere his chin is pointing. Ve havent seen deez problems with de Vettel kiddie as his chin is normal in size. If Mark vants to vin, den he needs to seriously think about a splitter on zat bad boy!”

    • Eddie says:

      Jake, you are correct. At the end of the 2011 season Mark will be rushed away to a secret location by the Red Bull team after accepting what Red Bull has long been saying is the reason for his less than Stella performances. The Secret Location is in fact a well known plastic surgery clinic in Geneva, but not as much a secret as some may have you think because it’s common knowledge inside the Red Bull team, Mark’s enormous cleft chin is the biggest hurdle that Red Bull have had to contend with this year.

      Mark having already had his cheek bones honed out a few thou, is familiar with this process of body enhancements and now finally prepared to have his chin remodelled using the latest F1 fluid dynamics software. We can only imagine what this good news could mean for the F1 star.

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