I thought Sledging was an Olympic sport?

India is the spiritual home of all cricketers.

Every space in India, young boys and girls are playing the game. But how can Sri Lanka be seeing off the famous Aussies.

We are the best in the world with the exception of a few South African batters.

Elephants and crickert are closely linked in IndiaEngland invented the game but they are history. The Aussies will tame them and win back the Ashes…of this I am sure, but why are they pretending to play against the Lankans?

Many years ago in my youth when India played Ceylon, they had trouble catching the ball. I remember their finest bowler, named Bunged Itin, was troubled with tennis elbow during a game in Calcutta. He practiced every day with a table tennis racket and learned to put top spin on the ball.

The famous Indian batter named Boundary Man smashed his spinning ball into the Indian Ocean. They then ran forty seven runs before a passing rickshaw phoned in ‘Lost Ball’.

Today’s Sri Lanka team has shown real ability on the visit to Australia and we are very much afraid they have learned all the Aussie tricks. We thought sledging was an Olympic sport, but no, it is used to pressurise timid cricketers.

We are used to these ploys and feed out team lots of curries to put the wind up foreign players. We have given a warning to all visiting teams…play fair or we will use the Sepoy tricks.

Remember the black holes? We dig them on the run up, and then we all fall down, take them to hospitals and have the balls trimmed.

In England, the people all walk on the grass and tread down the divots after the horses have passed by. In India, we use elephants to tread down the grass and the black holes.

Keep up the knees and drinking the beers…and then soon you will be also as good as the famous googlies of Jaipur.

by Rahndi Ghit

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