On this day…in 1886

On this day, 9th January 1868, the last convict ship to transport prisoners to Australia (the Hougoumont) arrived at Fremantle, Western Australia. The prisoners would have been excited but also fearful. The heat would have been spmething they’re not used to for a start…and that’s before they realise that every bloody thing can kill you. One convict died on the … [Read the full story]


An Italian, a Greek and an Aussie are talking about there sex lives. The Italian said, “Last night, I smeared my wife with Italian Olive Oil, made mad passionate love, and the wife screamed for five minutes”. The Greek said, “That’s nothing, last night I smeared my wife Feta cheese, made mad passionate love, and … [Read the full story]

Tommy Taylor’s SRU

This week, a young seventeen year old girl from Sri Lanka who worked as a nanny in Saudi Arabia was beheaded. She was executed because a baby (that she was looking after) died whilst being fed a milk bottle. Despite protests from many support groups and the government of Sri Lanka, the guilty verdict was … [Read the full story]

Australians seem to breed the best jockeys

I have been very upset by the comments received from Aussie racing fans about my racing column. I have many years experience of racing around the world. The best racing in the world is in England. The majesty of Ascot, the enormous size of Goodwood, the bitter cold of Catterick (where there are more cows … [Read the full story]

Does ‘get knotted’ mean, ‘do yoga’?

Hello to all my fans. It’s good to be back after my holiday in India. Thank you for all your comments on my last article about test match cricket. My English is not good enough to understand the colloquial terms used by some of my fans. I once spoke to my Guru and asked him … [Read the full story]

Miranda Kerr goes flexible for Reebok

Ryan Giggs used to be the most famous person to wear Reebok kit. But he isn’t quite the poster boy he used to be, so Miranda Kerr is now the  face, or feet, of their new EasyTone trainers. The Aussie model proved how flexible she is, just like Ryan in the sack with  his brother’s … [Read the full story]

Gwyn, Chris and family are learning French

Gwyneth Paltrow and her musician husband Chris Martin have enrolled the whole family in French lessons. The Hollywood star’s mum, Blythe Danner, said: “My daughter’s doing a  film in Spain now, because she’s fluent in Spanish. I’m delighted. “The children are fluent in Spanish too, so the whole family is now learning  French. “Gwyneth is … [Read the full story]

Kylie still loves the hotpants

Kylie Minogue must have more hotpants than the Brazilian beach volleyball team. The singer dug out another pair of shorts for her gig at the Palace Theatre in Melbourne this week. Our Aussie treasure wowed the audience as only Kylie knows how. The only problem with the shorts…they’re not the best pair for carrying loose change. by … [Read the full story]

More Aussie women are hoarding their bras

Our secret is finally out. We women are a nation of hoarders. No, I’m not referring to money stashed under the bed for a rainy day, or cracked vases we think might one day be worth something…I’m talking about bras. Aussie women own an average of nine bras each and stash half of them…a staggering 39 million…in … [Read the full story]

NSW have been carrying Aussie cricket for years

Queenslander Bulls batsman Peter Forrest was a key selection, but he grew up in Windsor and played his junior cricket for Hawkesbury. Tasmania, meanwhile, have six Blues imports. Ed Cowan attended Cranbrook and played for the Blues before heading to Tasmania and earning a Test call-up. He plays alongside NSW-bred players Steve Cazzulino,Brendan Drew, Jackson … [Read the full story]

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