Children equals no romance, a new survey reveals

Looking forward to the pitter-patter of tiny feet? Kiss goodbye to romance. A survey of 3,000 parents, found new parents go out together 15 times over the first five years because they feel guilty for wanting time away from their child. by Susan Floyd

Dear Lily – My wife is a bootfaced old hag

Dear Lily, I’ve been married to my wife for nearly twenty years and we have two wonderful children together. Regrettably, I seem to have accidentally had sex with a woman at work and I am worried my wife might find out. The main catalyst for this unfortunate situation is that my wife is a dried-up, … [Read the full story]

‘Maybe I was trying to light a fart’

Brian Whitehead, accused of taking a photo up a woman’s skirt, said ‘Maybe I was trying to light a fart’ Whitehead, from Bristol UK, accused of trying to take a photo under a woman’s skirt suggested that he could have been trying to “light her fart” on fire. CCTV footage caught the 39-year-old going into … [Read the full story]

Men need to be told about their filthy habits

There could be numerous reasons why a man might want to be informed about the filthy habits he is guilty of. Perhaps he wants to know for health and hygienic purposes, or maybe he is in the process of impressing a new lady-friend and doesn’t wish to repulse her upon the start of a potential … [Read the full story]

‘Come back, Carlos, from Argentina’

Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez has not returned from Argentina for a meeting with the club, but talks have been held with his representatives. The 27-year-old had been requested to return to England by the Barclays Premier League heavyweights after he flew home to visit his family last week, apparently without permission from his employers. … [Read the full story]

Conrad Murray guilty of involuntary manslaughter

Michael Jackson’s personal physician Dr Conrad Murray was convicted of the involuntary manslaughter of the star. Murray gave the King of Pop a fatal overdose of the dangerous anaesthetic propofol, jurors ruled. Following a six-week trial, a jury of seven men and five women took eight-and-a-half hours to reach a unanimous verdict. Los Angeles Superior … [Read the full story]

Man imported heroin in fish

A Melbourne fish importer who hid eight kilograms of pure heroin with a maximum street “cap” value of $13.4 million in his legitimate frozen product has pleaded guilty to a charge that carries life imprisonment. The County Court heard that Ngoc Du Le, 59, packed 36 blocks of heroin among nine tonnes of loose fish … [Read the full story]

Convicted for picking up $200 from casino floor

An apprentice mechanic who picked up $200 from the floor of the Burswood Casino in Perth, has been found guilty of stealing. Adrian Lamonica-Miraglio, 22, of Lockridge, fought a charge of one count of stealing…but was today convicted by Magistrate Wayne Tarr, fined $500 and given a spent conviction order. It was alleged that at about … [Read the full story]

Cougars charged for having sex with students

Two female teachers have become the latest in a string of ‘cougars’ charged with engaging in sexual activities with underage students. Amy Caudle, a teacher in Alabama was charged with sexually abusing three students and pled guilty to two counts. She was sentenced to 15 years in prison…however she will serve three years and receive … [Read the full story]

Dear Woosy – Working away makes me feel guilty

Dear Woosy, My job requires me to work away a lot of the time, which means my wife often has to spend evenings and weekends alone, and this makes me feel terribly guilty. Thankfully, she has struck up a friendship with the gentleman next door. Ted is a kindly soul, being selfless enough to allow … [Read the full story]

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