Wino’s thought for the day

It’s not about love, it’s not about rejection, it’s about not being lonely. It’s about having that one person to go to when you feel like nothing makes sense. It’s about having someone to share those moments that call for a drink…maybe even a hangover. It’s about strolling down the streets holding the hand of … [Read the full story]

Dear Lily – Can you help me find a man?

Dear Lily, I am a 31 year old woman and I haven’t yet managed to find that special someone. I used to relish being single when I was in my twenties, but now I am just pathetic and lonely. While my married friends spend their weekends dripping with wholesomeness in the park or leaping around … [Read the full story]

The Smiths won’t be getting back together…yet

JOHNNY MARR seems to have ended hopes that he and Morrissey will re-form The Smiths this year – by starting work on a solo album. The axeman has worked with The Cribs and Modest Mouse in recent years but has only ever had one proper solo release, 2003’s Boomslang. A source said: “The chances of … [Read the full story]

Dear Woosy – I’m so lonely

Dear Woosy, I’m ugly, charmless and very lonely. Do you have any spells or potions that would help me to pick up men? Woosy says –The breast implant spell is quite effective. You begin it by writing a check and after a little minor surgery you will be able to spellbind men. Of course you … [Read the full story]

Tony’s Quiet Time

Hello to one and all. It’s been a while since I put pen to paper regarding my memoirs. But it really has been a busy time with Christmas and the New Year. It’s been a strange last few months for me. Chucking in my job at the warehouse, starting at the pizza delivery place and … [Read the full story]

Britney hounded ex-bodyguard for sex

BRITNEY SPEARS’ ex-bodyguard last night claimed he was summoned to her bedroom – to find her writhing naked on the bed and lewdly caressing herself. Fernando Flores said the bizarre encounter was one of the many times the fallen idol made his life hell by hounding him for sex. And the ex-cop insisted the clumsy … [Read the full story]