Dear Lily – My doctor says I’m obese

Dear Lily, I have never been particularly thin, but recently I was told by my doctor that I’m clinically obese and I am beginning to think I should try to lose some weight. The problem is I’d much rather sit in an armchair and scoff enough pizza to feed a family of five than subject … [Read the full story]

Melt proof choccy biccy’s – what a waste of money

Man has been on the moon, and made countless advances in medicine and now scientists have been issued a new challenge…the melt-proof choccie biscuit. Understanding what is happening to chocolate at a molecular levels is enabling overpaid scientists with fuck all else to do, to develop chocolate that does not melt in warm climates. This … [Read the full story]

The BIG autopsy report is finally revealed

The autopsy report of rapper Notorious BIG has been revealed, 15 years after he was shot and killed. The rapper, real name Christopher Wallace, was murdered in a drive by shooting in Los Angeles on March 9, 1997. The 24 year old rapper was shot four times whilst sat in the passenger seat of a … [Read the full story]

Blame the Nazis for obesity and diabetes

Audrey Hepburn, iconic star of Breakfast At Tiffany’s, was renowned for her waif-like figure. But her sylph-like beauty masked a lifetime of poor health which culminated in her death at only 63. Now, a leading scientist suggests that her genes were fundamentally altered through suffering starvation as a teenager in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands. Dr Nessa … [Read the full story]

Fat fucks fight for the title

Obese model Susanne Eman is bidding to become the world’s fattest woman. Back in July we ran a story about Donna Simpson and her quest to become the fattest woman in the world.  Now we have another fat fucker competing for the same title. Susanne aims to balloon from 330kg (52st) to a record 730kg … [Read the full story]

Kids today are fat fucks and need to be punished

Children in care might not be ideal, but it is better than an institution, which would serve only to make a child feel punished. Already we know that the number of obese adults has tripled since 1980, we know that obesity causes 13,000 cancers a year, and we know of its effects in terms of heart … [Read the full story]

Twenty-four hour pancakes…almost worse than ‘Chicken in a Can’

An American chain of diners…Denny’s…offers its customers a great deal on pancakes. ‘All you can eat’ for $4. You can see how they came up with it. Pancakes are cheap to make and they get a little boring after a while. The only flaw in the plan? Denny’s never closes. Step forward Rio Hardesty and … [Read the full story]

Kookaburra gets sent to fat camp

A kookaburra is being sent for personal training after she became too fat to fly – because of her fondness for eating sausages. The kookaburra started putting on weight after residents at a Sydney park started feeding her sausages at barbecues. The chubby bird weighs 565 grams (1.2 pounds), which is almost 40 percent heavier … [Read the full story]

Do you take this chicken piece to be your lawful wedded bargain bucket

Newlyweds and guests enjoyed a bargain-bucket wedding reception at their local KFC. Gary Pritchard who is out of work and Kalli Buchan got married in Bristol, England…and then they tucked into their Kentucky meals with 30 friends and family. Among the guests were Kalli’s parents, who held their reception at McDonald’s over 22years ago. So what we have … [Read the full story]

Tony’s Quiet Time

Hello to one and all. It’s been a while since I put pen to paper regarding my memoirs. But it really has been a busy time with Christmas and the New Year. It’s been a strange last few months for me. Chucking in my job at the warehouse, starting at the pizza delivery place and … [Read the full story]

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