Would you like to live here?

Well, would you live here? I know plenty of people that would just be perfect living in ‘Arsoli’ Here are some, well, strange sounding places. Please let us know if any of you have been to these places. Arsoli (Lazio, Italy) Bastard (Norway) Beaver (Oklahoma, USA) Beaver Head (Idaho, USA) Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK) Chinamans Knob … [Read the full story]

Technical musicans are fucking clueless

It’s just a long, long argument that goes on, and will go on until the dawn of time. This argument will go on because music is down to what one likes…what one gets. Basically, some music is great because you get it, some music is great because you’re brain-washed and some music is great because … [Read the full story]

Dear Lily – Can I erase my wife’s memory?

Dear Lily, Every Tuesday evening, while my wife is out at her exercise class, I like to have what I’ve come to think affectionately of as a ‘zumba wank’ to relieve the day’s tension. Unfortunately, last Tuesday I was mid-stroke when my wife returned unexpectedly and now she just keeps crying all the time and … [Read the full story]

Who’ll be Ozzie News ‘She’s hot 2012’ – vote now

Hello and welcome to the first, and hopefully many, She’s hot 2012. This is where you all get the chance to vote for who you think was, and is, the hottest babe on Ozzie News for 2012. The criteria is anything you want it to be. You may like the artistic pose, the quality of … [Read the full story]

We love wiping our arses…so be an eco-warrior and bring back the Wank-Sock

A person uses approximately 57 sheets of toilet paper each day. That’s right…we love wiping our arses and/or shitting. Or maybe our arses are getting larger. With all of the shit food readily available, and the uneducated fucks that want to feed a new generation Big Macs three times a week. And then there’s the … [Read the full story]

A Good Wank

A young boy of fourteen and his father are avid woodsmen. One day, on a trip to the country, dusk catches them in the woods. They set up their tent and, after dinner, they go to sleep. The man wakes up in the middle of the night and says to his son, “What are you … [Read the full story]